


defection

by brandywine421



Series: Unfinished AUs of Flail (aka fail) [4]
Category: Daredevil (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-12
Updated: 2015-12-12
Packaged: 2018-05-06 05:33:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5404916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brandywine421/pseuds/brandywine421
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cap took a deep breath and met her eyes.  "Yeah.  Remember my old friend, Bucky?  His family's buried there and I like to make sure they have fresh flowers.  I got their tombstones replaced when I first got out of the ice and I just got in the habit of looking after the plots.  They were really good to me."</p>
<p>She felt the shift in the room and her hands went to her knives.</p>
<p>"You have a lotta fucking nerve - " Barnes hissed.</p>
<p>Steve snapped his attention to him.  "This is not your business.   You're not Bucky and you don't get to mourn his family.  You get to have his name and his body but you don't deserve it and you aren't taking any more of him."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>(Part of a collection of abandoned, but not unloved, fics I will never finish.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	defection

 

 

 

# intro  
  
"Where've you been all morning?  We tried to call you."  Natasha worried even if she was trained not to show it.  Cap was different.  He was important to her.    
  
"I have a standing appointment on Tuesdays," he replied, flicking at the buttons on his overshirt.  
  
"Fucker goes to confession," Barnes' dark voice answers from his corner.  He'd claimed it months ago.  Before he'd broken Cap's heart and told him that there was no way he would ever be Bucky again and the man he was now would rather pull his own fingernails out than be friends with Cap.  
  
Cap didn't react to the comment.  He didn't confirm or deny but she wasn't sure if it was because he didn't want to engage Barnes in conversation or because he didn't want to talk about it.  
  
"Hikes all the way out to Hell's Kitchen 'cause he thinks people are going to listen in," Barnes added.  
  
Cap took a visible breath, nostrils flared as he exhaled.  They had been waiting for months for him to snap, to stop backing down from Barnes but so far he'd just accepted the man's insults and done his best at avoiding him.  He would send Barnes on team missions if he wasn't involved but he hadn't taken him on an Avengers call since the first disastrous attempt when Barnes refused to follow orders and ended up leveling an entire block that wasn't involved in the battle.  
  
"I go to mass and visit some cemeteries," Cap said to Natasha.  
  
"Didn't know you had family in the Kitchen," she replied.  She did her best to keep up with Cap's history since he's been put on unofficial suicide watch.  
  
Cap shrugged.  "Depends on your definition of family."  
  
"Oh, of course," Natasha replied quickly, filing it away for more research shortly.  
  
Cap took a deep breath and met her eyes.  "Yeah.  Remember my old friend, Bucky?  His family's buried there and I like to make sure they have fresh flowers.  I got their tombstones replaced when I first got out of the ice and I just got in the habit of looking after the plots.  They were really good to me."  
  
She felt the shift in the room and her hands went to her knives.  
  
"You have a lotta fucking nerve - " Barnes hissed.  
  
Steve snapped his attention to him.  "This is not your business.   You're not Bucky and you don't get to mourn his family.  You get to have his name and his body but you don't deserve it and you aren't taking any more of him."  
  
Barnes froze apart from the whirring of his arm as his fingers wound into a fist.  
  
Steve turned back to her, blue eyes dark with steel.  She wasn't sure this was the change that she wanted out of Cap.  "I called a team meeting, we're meeting downstairs.  First string only."  
  
She nodded and didn't look at Barnes until Steve was safely back on the elevator.  "That's what you wanted, right?  For him to stop seeing you as his best friend?"  
  
Barnes grinded his teeth.  
  
"You've always underestimated how he feels about Bucky," she added.  
  
  
# sabbatical  
  
"Find a place you like and let Pepper know.  She'll get the place fixed up nice for you and make sure it's off the grid," Tony said, breaking the silence.  "We all have a private safehouse, it's about time you get one of your own.  She handles all our property acquisitions but you should tell at least one person its location in case of emergencies."  
  
"Are you sure you need to move out, Cap?" Bruce asked.  
  
He nodded.  "I need some time.  I'm...I don't know if I'm in the best mental state to be making decisions off the battlefield and I need some time to get my thoughts in order."  
  
"But you're still - " Clint started.  
  
"I'm still on the team, just...offsite," Steve answered before he had to ask.  "I don't want to lose my friends just because..."  
  
"Hey, not an option, Cap.  You get to take time off like the rest of us.  And I'd like to be the one that knows the address," Sam stated.  
  
Natasha skimmed him with her eyes.  "You're not going to tell any of us, are you?"  
  
"Fury," Steve said without thinking.  "Everyone thinks he's dead and he holds a lot of our secrets already.  I trust him even if most of you don't."  
  
"Fucker," Tony snorted.  "But it's your thing."  
  
Steve was grateful for their acceptance even without their understanding.  "Stark, you think you can help me kit out my bike?  I could use a little more speed to get across town in case of emergencies."  
  
Tony slowly broke into a mischievous grin.  "Absolutely."  
  
"We'll Skype at a designated time every night if we're not in town, just like we do when one of you are out of town.  You all have lives of your own, it's time I find one for myself," he added.  
  
"Good for you," Bruce spoke softly.  
  
Steve needed something to be good for him right now.  
  
  
# solitude  
  
Talking with Father Lanthom was supposed to ease his mind, not tangle up more knots.  He tried not to slump on the bench out front but for the moment, this moment, he needed to be still.  
  
He caught a whiff of gunpowder and blood and glance up immediately.  Not here.  Not yet.  
  
Instead of a van full of HYDRA agents, there was a blind man swinging his cane without tapping.  He had to be confident with the area but Steve knew enough about spies to recognize the swagger of someone with tripwire senses.  This man was dangerous.  And blind.  Huh.  
  
"Is someone in my seat?" the man asked, stopping in front of him and thumping his boot with his cane.  
  
"Did I need to make a reservation to sit here?" Steve replied after a beat.  He slid over and the man sat down.  He was being vetted.  
  
Fair enough since he was sizing up the stranger himself.  He didn't introduce himself, but he didn't leave the bench either.  He didn't want to go back to his boxed up house just yet.  
  
"Matt Murdock," the man said finally, holding out his hand.  
  
Steve looked from his hand to the man's sunglasses before shaking it.  "You have blood in your hair," he finally decided on as a response.  
  
"Your body temperature is 6 degrees higher than a normal person."  
  
Steve scanned him again.  "You put that unscented numbing spray on your chest because you have three fractured ribs and you've been shot at in the past 7 hours."  
  
That caught Matt's attention and his lips narrowed into a frown.  
  
"Hey, for all I know you might be a cop, not my business.  But it's not really cool to go to church with blood in your hair," Steve shrugged.  
  
"A blind cop?"  
  
"You don't need eyes to see everything," Steve replied.  He trusted his gut and it wasn't setting off any Captain alarms.  
  
Matt tilted his head at him curiously.  Then he ran his hands through his hair.  
  
"I'm trying to avoid your kind of trouble," Steve said after a beat.  
  
"My kind?"  
  
"I don't like to flirt with people I meet outside of a church where I just gave confession so I should probably excuse myself," Steve said after a beat, standing up.  
  
"Oh.  Well, if that's the kind of trouble you're avoiding, here's my card," Matt said as he turned away, holding out a business card.  Steve plucked it from his fingertips and tucked it into his pocket.  
  
Maybe he could make it back to his cave to open boxes now.  Maybe this was progress.  
  
  
# backup  
  
"Matt, this doesn't seem like vigilante business, this feels like sophomore year when you made me go on dates with you when you couldn't figure out how old your date was," Foggy muttered.  
  
Karen snickered.  "At least we have four wheels so you aren't wobbling along on your own."  
  
Matt wished it could be like that, the flicker in his gut wanted it to be; but it was Daredevil business and a sign of trust that he included them in a 'mission'.  
  
An open invitation over for grilled cheese and conversation from the suspicious man that took his bench and his confession time slot on Tuesdays was a good mission for him to take his best friends on.  
  
"Oh fuck, what is that?  There are two of them!" Karen hissed suddenly.  
  
He focused and finally pinpointed the source of her distress.  "It's just a cat.  Two cats.  Expensive," he processed out loud.  
  
"How do you know how much they cost?  And we already knew they were cats, but they're creepy as hell.  Can you hear how creepy they are?  That's it, the guy is evil," Foggy decided.  
  
Matt felt for a doorbell but decided to knock instead and hope his friends weren't antagonizing the yet unchecked cat demons being described behind him.  
  
A camera whirred and he had the unmistakable sensation of being scanned by a metal detector but Karen and Foggy didn't seem to notice the test.  
  
The door opened and a blast of cheese and charred bread filled his senses a moment before Steve's scent took precedence.  He smelled nice.  Clean.  
  
"Hi.  Didn't really think you'd make it.  Uh, come in.  I'm Steve."  
  
For some reason Foggy's heartbeat tripled when he stepped inside.  "Oh fuck, oh shit.  You're - "  
  
"But I have a beard, you're not suppose to be able - "  
  
"Don't curse in front of him - "  
  
"But it's - "  
  
Steve sighed.  "I fail at hiding already.  I'm going to catch so much hell about this."  
  
"This is Foggy and Karen.  I feel like I'm missing something important."  
  
"He's Captain America," Foggy whispered loudly.  
  
Oh.  _Oh_.  
  
"We totally cockblocked you, didn't we?  Did you know you have devil cats in your living room?" Karen asked.  
  
"They were a gift.  I need hobbies so I get cats.  Do you still want to stay for dinner?  I made enough."  
  
Captain America.  He definitely wasn't a bad guy.  The flicker he'd been ignoring flared up and he put his hand on Steve's arm.  "Show me around while Foggy and Karen compose themselves enough to apologize."  
  
Steve's heartbeat slowed down when they had taken four point three steps into another room where two sleek and loud cats began circling his legs with rumbled purrs.  
  
"Kit and Kat.  Gifts, like I said.  Go play in the kitchen, girls, shoo now."  
  
Their were a few disgruntled pleas but Karen's startled shriek signalled the cats' obedience.  
  
"Um.  So."  
  
Matt sighed.  "I brought them because I knew there was something about you I was missing.  What are you hiding from?"  
  
"This is supposed to be a safehouse.  I'm still on the job but I need...this is my vacation."  
  
Matt didn't sense a lie.  "So no one's after you."  
  
Steve snorted.  "People are always after me, I don't need Daredevil watching my back.  I'm just here to...maybe you should go."  
  
Matt huffed but he didn't deny it.  "If I know your secret identity it's fair play you know mine.  Karen and Foggy are in on it.  You can trust them.  Us.  I admit, I'm intrigued to meet a real superhero but not as intrigued as I am to have dinner with you."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Yeah," Matt smiled.  This was going to be interesting.  Steve's fingers brushed through his hair and he leaned into it and brought his hand to cut Steve's stubbly, fucking chisled jaw.  He traced his lips and Steve sucked a finger into his mouth.  
  
Steve tensed suddenly and smiled.  Shy.  Huh.  "That was inappropriate."  
  
Matt resumed mapping his face with his fingers.  "You don't know anything about inappropriate yet.  Your eyelashes are - "  
  
Foggy cleared his throat.  "Um, sorry to interrupt but your cats got into the tomato soup and there's, uh, a mess.  Do you have paper towels?  It looks like a bloodbath in here."  
  
  
  
# connect  
  
Steve knew having friends near his safehouse wasn't, well, safe, but it was nice to have relatively normal people to be friends with.  He'd spent so much time with spies and millionaires and geniuses that he missed getting to know the people that made up the population he was trying to protect.  
  
So Karen helped him darken and trim his hair and beard, Foggy showed him all the best diners and shops in the Kitchen and Matt, well, Matt sparred with him in and out of bed.  
  
He liked Matt.  He wasn't sure what that meant.  It was new.  He wasn't Peggy, he was nothing like Peggy and sex was so much better than he ever imagined.  
  
"Is that a hickey?  Do you have a fucking hickey?  Oh my God, he's living in sin," Tony gasped dramatically but there was a flash of relief behind his teasing.  
  
Steve flipped him off and finished shrugging out of his suit in the Quinjet's locker room.  
  
"Oh yeah?  Shit, man, that makes me feel so much better about your whole sabbatical," Clint said, patting him on the back.  
  
"It's nice.  Even the cats seem happy," Steve smiled.  
  
"So when do we meet her?  Or him?" Bruce asked.  
  
That hadn't crossed his mind.  "I don't know.  Fury doesn't seem to hate him."  
  
"Nice," Tony grinned, almost genuinely.  
  
"Yeah.  It probably won't last, he doesn't have the best track record from what I'm told; but I'm going to enjoy it while it does," Steve said.  "How are things at the Tower?"  
  
"Boring without you calling for training all the time.  I've been reading books and shit," Clint frowned.  
  
"He started dating that Darcy girl, don't believe him," Bruce snickered.  
  
"Seriously, you're doing okay?" Tony asked when Steve had pulled on fresh boxers and taken a seat to start icing and patching today's battle injuries.  
  
"I think I am.  Moving on.  I was getting a little...pent up there with Barnes.  I'm starting to figure out who I am in this century on my own.  And I have a lot more friends that I can trust than I thought I did," he said.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
# guests  
  
It was only when he slid his bike into his parking space in Hell's Kitchen that he felt like he was coming home. It was a new feeling.  
  
The lights were on but his alarms hadn't gone off so he knew it was a friendly but he still had his shield out, just in case.  
  
Kit and Kat greeted him with welcoming yowls and he smelled fresh coffee.  
  
"There you are. You couldn't text that you were alive?" Karen scolded.  
  
"You're hurt," Matt said.  
  
"They would have had a press conference if I was dead and I'm fine. You guys weren't waiting up, were you?"  
  
"We both came by to check on the cats, I'm not sticking around. Glad you're ok," Karen said.  
  
"They didn't patch you up before turning you loose?" Matt asked.  
  
"I'll leave Matt to lecture. Lunch tomorrow?" Karen asked, squeezing his shoulder as she pulled on her jacket.  
  
"If he's up to it, he's not running on as many cylinders as he thinks," Matt muttered.  
  
Steve rolled his eyes and allowed Kat to take ownership of his lap as Kit took her favorite perch on his shoulders. "I'll text you, Karen.  Thanks."  
  
Matt didn't move until the whir of the locks shut down. "Let me see. "  
  
"I want to shower first. You can play medic after but it'll be a waste of supplies.  did my girls behave?"  
  
"They chased your neighbor's dog away again but the mail carrier was grateful. Go clean up."  
  
He rinsed off most of the blood, gravel and soot he'd missed and scrubbed down the rest before towelling off. He accepted the cup of coffee from Matt and settled on the edge of his bed so Matt could satisfy himself and check his injuries.  
  
"I can hear your bones knitting together," Matt whispered.  
  
"It was a rough one. Didn't think anything was broken. Ribs?"  
  
"Couple."  
  
The alarm buzzed and he immediately went to the closet and scanned the wall of security monitors.  
  
"What is it?" Matt ask immediately.  
  
"Unexpected company," Steve said when he saw the scrolling Intel and the biometrics of the winter soldier.  
  
"Should I put on my suit?" Matt asked.  
  
"No, it's Barnes," Steve realized.  "What the hell?"  
  
"I'm going to put on the suit," Matt said.  
  
"Just stay here, he's an ally of the Avengers," Steve said.  
  
"But he's a threat to you.  Foggy's been filling me in on the politics behind your whole team thing," Matt muttered.  
  
So that was the reason for the sudden attention.  "We'll have that argument after I find out what he wants.  And find out if I need to move."  
  
He liked it here.  He should have known it wouldn't work.  Steve may need a vacation but Captain America didn't get benefits or fall under labor laws.  He heard Matt calling after him but he texted Natasha while he walked.  
  
_He was here when we got back.  Didnt tell anyone he was going out.  You want retrieval?_  
  
He sighed and pocketed his phone.  
  
Kit and Kat sat by his feet expectantly when he punched in the code to unlock the door and ignore the pertinent warnings.  
  
Barnes scanned him with dark eyes.  "You missed debrief."  
  
Steve blinked at him.  "It's tomorrow morning, not tonight.  Why do you care?"  
  
"I wanted to talk to you.  Say some things."  
  
Steve couldn't process this was happening right now.  "No one's supposed to be here, Barnes.  How did you find me?"  
  
Barnes shrugged and avoided his eyes.  "Follow you sometimes.  Never seen you mad before, not like that."  
  
Kit suddenly hissed and flattened her ears.  
  
"You're not wearing clothes.  Can I come in or  - "  
  
He was going to have to move out of state.  Maybe get some of Sam's stupid wings to fly in for missions.  
  
"I have a guest that was invited.  Don't mess with him and don't fuck with my cats," Steve said finally, stepping aside for him to come in.  
  
Barnes ticked his eyes across the house, checking corners and shadows before narrowing on the hallway.  "Is your guest going to come out and say hello?"  
  
"I'd rather you not meet my friends," Steve said.  "It's late and I'm tired."  
  
Barnes shifted, unusually nervous.  "So, yeah.  I thought you'd come by the Tower so I wouldn't have to show my hand."  
  
"Your hand," Steve repeated.  
  
"I followed you.  I tracked your internet searches.  I went through all of your things.  I checked your food and monitored your sleeping habits," Barnes said.  
  
"Why?" Steve asked, holding up his hand when he felt Matt's footsteps behind him.  
  
Barnes flicked his eyes over Matt before returning his attention to Steve.  "Because I remember."  
  
Matt cleared his throat.  "Go get dressed.  I'll keep my eyes on him."  
  
"That supposed to be a joke?" Barnes grunted.  
  
Steve needed a moment and Matt could hold his own for a few minutes.  
  
He remembered?  What the **fuck** did that mean?  
  
  
# trigger  
  
"What do you want with Steve?" Matt asked quietly when he was alone with the allegedly retired assassin.  He was guilty of researching Steve but considering his job and Matt's extracurriculars, he figured he'd be forgiven.  Steve would whisper tales of icy mountains and red-faced alter egos and Matt would mumble stories of futility and martyrs fueled by desperation.  
  
"I want to talk to him.  Are you his keeper?" Barnes asked.  
  
"Sounds like you want to be if you've been stalking him.  What do you need to talk to him about if you're already picking through his private life?"  
  
Barnes fingers ticked, his flesh ones.  "Didn't know about you.  Didn't think I'd be having a staredown with a blind man."  
  
He was glad he didn't put on the red suit.  He didn't want a man like Barnes to know Daredevil was a blind man.  
  
"What did you think you'd be doing when you got here?" Matt countered.  
  
"Mike," Steve said quietly.  He needed to back off, he knew that but fuck if he didn't have feelings for the guy at this point.  He appreciated Steve using his sometimes alias just in case something came out.  
  
Barnes heartbeat steadied out when Steve was in his sightline.  Matt wasn't sure what that meant.  Friend or foe was apparently different for Avengers.  
  
"I remember.  I've always remembered since they turned my mind back on.  I remember everything, you, the war, the Commandos - but it's been 70 years.  I don't remember my Ma's name or the name of my first school because who gives a shit - that was 70 years ago," Barnes said in a flat but unsteady tone.  "I don't like you because you boss me around, I don't get why I have to take your orders.  I don't owe you anything and I'm not your soldier."  
  
There was a long moment that Matt didn't hear Steve's heart beat.  "It was barely 4 years for me.  I won't apologize for being stuck in it because it got - whoever you are now - away from those HYDRA bastards.  You had 70 years to get over it, and I won't apologize for anything I've done after the ice."  He took a deep breath.  "That doesn't explain why you're following me."  
  
"Stalking," Matt corrected.  
  
"I'm trying to figure you out.  Your angle.  Why you went so far, fucking rolled over and waited to die for some guy you knew when you were a kid - "  
  
"4 years ago, Barnes.  Why are you here?  I gave you space, I let you go on missions and you just explained why you'll never go on the big ones because you don't follow orders.  There's nothing for us to talk about."  
  
"Shut up," Barnes snapped.  
  
Kat hissed, reminding them they were being supervised with a flick of her tail.  
  
"You're a naive, ignorant asshole that runs around out there like you're invincible.  You take all the hits that the Hulk or the Iron Man could take it without bloodshed but you boss around your team without looking after your own ass and nobody ever calls you on it.  If something happens to you, that's on me because Bucky's the only thing that you've ever shown that matters to you.  That's a whole lotta shit to put on a guy who's still figuring out how to feed himself."  
  
"Doesn't sound like he's putting that shit on you, you're making a lot of assumptions," Matt said when Steve stiffened.  
  
"I've accepted Bucky's dead.  Knowing you remember doesn't change the fact that my friend is dead.  You don't have to care about me, about how I feel.  You don't have to do anything you don't want to, not now.  You're off the hook."

**Author's Note:**

> I ♥ cats but Steve has solid black Orientals, which are scary as fuck if you don't know they're stalking you. And cats are always stalking you.


End file.
